Relationships and Stoma – A chat with Beka
Sponsored by opus
What went through your mind when you thought you could potentially have a stoma?
I really didn’t want a bag, and I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle it as my mental health hasn’t always been great. I thought it would never work. I didn’t want my partner, Mike to see me in it. I didn’t think I could. I always thought stoma bags were for older people. I got mine when I was 26.
Back home from hospital
When I was suffering from Ulcerative Colitis, my doctors thought I had piles or IBS, as I kept bleeding in the toilet. I had a colonoscopy, and it came clear. When I was pregnant, I kept bleeding. One day I was driving and couldn’t control my bowels. I then had another colonoscopy which came back with ulcers all around my large and part of my small bowel. I was given a lot of medication while dealing with a pregnancy. I had an emergency operation and didn’t really have time to process I was having a stoma.
I think I’d only been home from hospital a couple of days and my bag came off in bed. I was mortified and was still covered in stitches. I lay in bed crying thinking what am I going to do? Mike said it was fine and helped me through it.
A good support system is what kept me going!
I had been with Mike for a long time and when I had a stoma, so he was on board with it. I couldn’t imagine how hard it would be to tell a new partner. Mike took it better than me. He changed my bags in the hospital when I couldn’t. I feel so fortunate. Even though he was so supportive, when we came home from the hospital, I wouldn’t let him see me with a bag, because I didn’t have the confidence, and it was the embarrassment more than anything. He helped me get my confidence back. The more support I received from him the more I realised it is actually not that bad. That transition from not wanting a stoma to having one and accepting it wasn’t overnight. It took time. All my family were very supportive. I live in a tiny village, and I have my mother and two sisters around me. They were there with me pre-and post-surgery. My kids have been great with it too.JB-003084. Date of Prep: August 2024.
Related articles
Staying active and going on holidays – A chat with Beka
Beka suffered from Ulcerative Colitis and having a stoma changed her life. Beka talks about being active and going on holidays. Here is a glimpse into our conversation.
Tips from Beka’s experiences
Beka suffered from Ulcerative Colitis and having a stoma changed her life. Beka shared some tips for new ostomates, tips she wishes someone told her about when she was new. Here is a glimpse into our conversation.
Stoma and Pregnancy – A chat with Beka
Beka suffered from Ulcerative Colitis and having a stoma changed her life. Beka spoke to us about her journey through pregnancy. Here is a glimpse into our conversation.