Stoma and Kids – A chat with Beka
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It was tough
I can mainly remember all the bad bits. My son was born, who is nine now. He was born in 2015 and I can’t even remember him as a baby unless I look at a picture. I don’t remember his childhood. I was ill for a whole year and then I got my bag, where I was in and out of hospital for 2 years. I don’t have memories of him when he was a baby. There was so much going on, the stress of it all, the pain and anxiety. It was a lot to take.
Honestly, it was horrendous. Absolutely awful. I could never imagine living without constant pain. Doctors said the pain would stop, but I had lived with it for so long that I didn’t think it would. But it did.
I wish someone had told me back then, if you get a stoma your life will be so different.
If I knew what I know now, I would have done it in a heartbeat.
I sometimes forget how bad it was!
I had no life. I couldn’t go anywhere. I couldn’t go out for meals or take the kids to McDonald’s. I just knew what would happen, I would need the toilet.
I still think when I look at myself, I have a stoma bag, that realisation hits, but it is just a part of me now and it doesn’t bother me at all.
Kids… they are so innocent and supportive
My kids know all about it. When I change my bag, I say to my four-year-old, “you’ve got to watch and make sure nothing comes out when Mom takes the bag off”. They love being involved.
I didn’t know how to tell them first. I had to wing it.
There is no support, no help, out there to read about something like this, which is why I am talking about it now so that someone else can use my experience, and if it helps them great.
My daughter was 6 at the time, she asked “what is that on your belly?” so I stuck a bag on her belly and explained it to her. She wanted to watch me change my bag, I let her.
It was liberating and Mike, my partner gave me the confidence to do it.
My son who is 4 is so innocent, he will say things like “is that your bag that made that noise?”.
JB-003084. Date of Prep: August 2024.
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